Survival Mini Series – Part IV (highlights and conclusions)

Time for the finale!

First off sorry for the delay. Things have been hectic..well, the truth is that since N knows that I can change diapers I have been doing significantly more of those..

How I feel about those diapers..

I decided to make this post more into “random highlights we had” + my final conclusion of my days with G as opposed to a timeline like I did prior.

Random highlight #1

Which yoghurts work and which don’t:

As you guys know  G is very into her breakfast. Sometimes cereal, sometimes yoghurt. So I was able to experiment a bit in regards to what yoghurts she likes and which she doesn’t like. I was quite surprised when I found which yoghurt was on top and which wasn’t.

Winner:

Chobani coconut flavor!

Chobani Coconut flavor

Oh Boy was this yoghurt a hit! She couldn’t stop eating it. She couldn’t wait a minute to walk into the dining room and sit in her seat. Once I took it out of the fridge we had to sit on the floor in the kitchen and eat it right there and then. And when she was full and couldn’t take another bite anymore, she would make sure to take it  with her EVERYWHERE.

[BTW I really have to give a shout out to N’s close friend S who was the first to recommend this flavor to me. She called me up one afternoon to tell me about it and somehow knew that I would like it. Well as you guys know I am not allowed to touch it but G certainly enjoys it. So, thanks S]

Left: Her journey into the bathroom (with the yoghurt of course). Center: Eating yummy yoghurt in the bathroom. Right: You know it has reached the highest status if she decides to hide and guard it on the steps #sacredyoghurt

What didn’t work:

Oh Chobani! In one moment you give her such a sweet taste of heaven and in the next you bring her back down to earth and leave her (us) with this disgusting aftertaste in our mouths.

Chobani Blueberry Power Flip A.K.A Chobani Blueberry ‘Flip of Death’

I mean I have never really experienced a bad flip yoghurt. So when I saw this in the store it was a no brainer. 1) She likes Chobani 2) Flip = Yoghurt + awesome stuff to put in the yoghurt (supposedly). But this was just #Thumbsdown . When I first fed it to her and she started making weird faces at me I tried explaining to her that the stuff it comes with (Chia seeds, Hemp seeds, etc) is yummy. Well, after several weird looks and a sudden refusal to continue eating I was like “Fine, let’s see what you got. Ill try the yoghurt myself.”

As I would say back in Austria “Pfui Teiwel” (Ew – disgusting)

I get shivers just thinking about this yoghurt

I mean ‘Shame on you’ Chobani! What the heck! Am I a cow? (A cow is literally the only being I could think of that might enjoy those seeds. Actually, chickens maybe too.) This is one of the worst yoghurts I have ever had. Well, enough said. I obviously have not and don’t intend to ever buy this yoghurt again (unless for some sort of food prank).

Random Highlight #2

Grocery shopping:

Now in general going ‘bye bye’ -as G would put it- is lots of fun. She just loves being outside. However, she can sometimes get a bit pissed off when the occasional ‘bye bye’ trip ends up in the super market. I don’t really blame her. I mean to her ‘going bye bye’ means going outside, running around and having fun NOT being locked up in the stroller having to wait for me to pick up random items. More so when I always end up having to give her a dirty look and say “NO” every few minutes when she decides to grab something off the shelves that we are not actually buying (i.e. 7 pomegranates,every dip in the ‘dips’ isle, etc.). But sometimes I need to give in. Why? Because she will otherwise make sure that I get banned from my local super market forever.

So usually whenever we walk through the fruit section there is this big shopping cart filled with watermelons. As you can imagine she goes completely crazy and demands watermelon (Why I keep making the mistake of walking through that isle is a great question. Maybe I deserve that as my punishment for not thinking!).  This time something very different happened. At first I was confused, then upset and at the end super happy! What happened?

She stopped and started yelling (kvetshing) but this time we weren’t even close to the watermelons. I was like HUH!? Then she started  pointing towards the refrigerated section and I was even more confused. So we played the ‘hot or cold’ game. I just started moving towards the refrigerated section and let her point me in the right direction until the yelling stopped. And I was like “NO WAY, JOSE”. Chicken? Really? Not just regular chicken but a jumbo pack of 2 whole chickens in it!? Come on?! You must be kidding me. I am not just buying 2 whole chickens for you because you (for whatever reason) find them funny.

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*10 minutes later at the cash register with groceries AND 2 whole chickens *

I was so upset. This stuff a) weighs a million pounds and b) will cost me money for no reason andd c) is not even needed.

[It was the very next day that I was actually invited out for Shabbos (Saturday) lunch and I was seriously debating if instead of a nice candy platter or a bottle of wine I just bring them one of the whole chickens that day and give them that as a gift. I mean c’mon, you’d get so much more value out of that as a gift! 🙂 ]

Until it rang up at the register. Then my angry face turned into a smiley face! It was on sale! An awesome sale! $1.99 a pound. Who knew!? JACKPOT! I still thank G to this day for awesome cheap chicken! When I called N afterwords and told her how much I paid for chicken she was like “AWESOME! What a great price. I am happy you bought it” and I was all cool like “Yes, you know I scouted what was on sale and when I saw this I obviously had to jump on this great deal” 😉

So I guess giving in in the supermarket can sometimes turn out quite profitable..

The famous ‘double whole chicken’ Jackpot! And G is the one that made it all happen!

Highlight #3

The lost fork:

Just so typical. Does she ever want to eat when its actually dinner time? Not really. But if someone has a snack or a yummy dinner prepared for themselves you can be sure to find G on the hunt. Now she wont be as obvious as to simply come up to you and request food. She knows at this point that when we are hungry and she had her chance, we wont just be so friendly as to fulfill her every wish and feed her our dinner. But that has only made her more dangerous. She has become a true predator and me and N are not safe anymore..

Left: G on the lookout. Right: Cheetah on the lookout. Conclusion: G is so much more dangerous

It might not look like the same but it is the same concept. G basically prepares in disguise the same way the cheetah disguises him/herself to get closer. She will pretend to just play or sit around close to your food and then when the window of opportunity arrises  -BOOM-  she will attack.

I had gotten a phone call and stood up to talk in the kitchen. A few minutes later I come back. It started when I saw a noodle in the entrance to the dining room lying on the floor. I then noticed that there was a trail of noodles and knew immediately what happened. I was officially ‘dinnerless’. When I got to the bowl, there was a toddler hovering above it, pretty much done with my pasta; only thing missing was the fork. And so I acknowledged defeat but at least wanted to find the fork. “G, where did you put the fork? Can I please have it back.” And as they say,  a picture says more then 1000 words..

The answer I got to asking for the fork. This face with her hands in the air saying “I dunno”

What a sneaky kid! But I love it! And yes, the fork is still missing  🙂

That is it for my highlights while I was gone. While there are more stories to be told I don’t want this to get too long (it’s too long already :P).

As to my conclusion, I was looking for a good phrase to sum up how my week was and I actually came across one on twitter the other day that I thought summed it up perfectly.

And that is EXACTLY how I feel. Even though at first I was scared of how I would survive and how I would handle being alone with G, it turned into the most amazing experience I have ever had as a parent. I am blessed to have a daughter as funny, loving and cheerful as my G is. The bonding experience I had with her in those few days is something that I have never experienced before and that I now know will shape my way of being a father going forward. I can only advise you women (oh boy how the guys will hate me for this) to leave your men home for a few days with your kid. It might be hard but it will change their connection they have with their kids in a very special way.

And one more thing it did to me was change my perspective of N in a very big way.

N, as much as I do respect everything you do every single day, it wasn’t until you left and I had to (try) to feel your footsteps that I realized how much more respect you deserve. It is unimaginable how so many things that you do from early in the morning until late at night you not only just do but do so with a smile in your face and with a love for your daughter that I cannot even start to grasp. I am lucky to have two so amazing women in my life and am now finally ready  to let you two bond again and while I  GO ON VACATION! 🙂

Just as proof that G and I also had a good time here some pics:

Running around / away while trying to get dressed..

Fun times after the library

Early AM fun. Trying to feed my phone some milk.

Selfies! She LOVES taking selfies! (she must get that from her mom :P)

Bath time is ALWAYS fun time for G! (with the occasional drink of bath water..ew)

I want to end of my series with a little poll. Just to see if I need to improve my dressing skills or if I am awesome already.

Left: Me Right: Housekeeper

Survival Mini Series – Part II

Hey everyone!

So I  guess judging by the fact that I am writing to you guys I am still alive. I am somewhat comparable to a wounded soldier in battle but nevertheless still around. As they say (and there are 2 versions I very much agree with that are not mutually exclusive): ‘What doesn’t kill you, messes you up mentally’ & ‘What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. At this point, I should be able to bench-press a Buick’.

But let me give you some details so you can better understand why planning in general is good and why on the other hand things just never go the way you expect…

Day 1:

We wanted to make sure that G’s transition from having 2 parents to just .5 of a parent (let’s be real here, we ALL know that father ≠ mother. Not only is it not 1:1, it isn’t even close) goes as smoothly as possible. So we decided to put her down for her nap about 15 minutes before N left. So far so good. She went to bed, took her nap, N left, I had some time to run worst case scenarios through my mind and then G woke up. It was about a 50 minute nap. Nothing too bad or too great. I get her from her bed and walk her downstairs.

B: ‘Hey G, do you want some milk?
G: ‘MAD FACE’
B: ‘It is yummy milk, I extra poured it into the pink cup for you.’
G: ‘MAMA’ short break ‘MAMA MAMA MAMA’
B thinking to himself ‘I am ready for this, I prepared for this, she doesn’t want milk and is grumpy. I will have to bring in the heavy artillery’

So I got her favorite blankey (she does love her blankets. I mean, I do too. They are soo comfortable!) and sat her down on the couch. The next moment was simply amazing. How her eyes suddenly stopped to tear and filled up with joy. I was like: JACKPOT! She saw me reach for the Xbox controller and turn on the TV. She sure knew where this was going and was very excited about it.

Next thing you know she couldn’t care less if Mama was home or not (Don’t be upset N, she didn’t notice me either and I was sitting next to her for a good hour). Who are we kidding, there could have been a party of 50 in the living room and all she would have seen and noticed was the music coming out of the TV.

G finally calming down to some old school Maccabeats. Mission completed!

So this was great. The preparations had already paid off. It was only the first hour of a 6 day trip but I still felt a great sense of accomplishment and was confident that I would be able to master this (Ha – now that I am reading this I am actually laughing at myself for being so ‘naive’).

Later on I wanted to be a good father and not have my kid sit in front of the TV for the rest of the day. I figured I’ll take her to the library! It’s a great one. Lots of children at all times, a lot of space for the children to run a round, lots of toys, games and drawing stations and of course books!

So of course we had to get into a fight. Why? Because there is no way to get her away from the TV (the music) without a fight. She can’t be distracted or lured in to doing anything else once she is in her music world. So you simply have to turn off the TV and say ‘the TV is going bye bye’. Of course it causes a meltdown but 2 minutes later we are back on and ready to move on to bigger and better things.

Just as a reference point: this is a meltdown from not getting a rice krispy treat. As mentioned in the first post, music > food thus her TV meltdowns tend to be a bit more aggressive =/

After getting out her coat and hat and getting some snacks ready for her we were ready to head out.

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Now – about 20 minutes later we are ready. After the whole ‘putting on a hat and a coat’ turned into one big game where when I approach her she needs to run to the other end of the house. Puh!

Finally bundled up and ready to go!

So we are walking and are almost at the library when once again I get some great positive encouragement.

An older lady on the street, she must have been into her 80’s, stops me, looks up and down and says ‘That is what I like to see! A father pushing the stroller! They don’t have enough of you guys!’ Well thank you nice elderly lady. If G wasn’t throwing Cheerios all over the street I would have been more then happy to buy you a nice cup of hot chocolate on that very cold day.

“Making the fatherly world a better place, one library trip at a time“

#proudtobeadad

Finally at the library she gets to let out a ton of energy and we had a great time. Playing in the puppy theater, with some magnetiles and these other block like figures. Not sure what they are but she really likes them. If any of you know what they are called PLEASE let me know. I think this will be the next toy on the list. She also loves drawing now. Sometimes I still need to explain what side of the pencil needs to face downward but she is getting better at it 😛

[On a side note: So in general I am very  PRO sharing and being nice to other kids. Whenever G goes up to other kids and starts taking their toys I call her over and explain that they are currently playing with it and if the other kid doesn’t mind that we can all share the toys. I understand that at a young age kids are very into toys being THEIR toys. So, what actually happened? G was drawing and had her paper and her 3 colors. A different girl came up to her and simply took her paper and her colors out of her hand and wanted to walk away. Before I could even say or do anything G got up, turned to the girl and took what was taken from her right back. There was no fighting or hitting. She simply walked to her with her grumpy face ( I totally understand) and grabbed her paper and her colors back from her and sat back down. The other girl clearly didn’t want to continue messing with her and walked away. In my opinion I liked the way it played out. I think that there is a certain sense of ownership when a kid is in a current stage of using a toy. I think that it would have been different if her mother or father were there to explain it to her but given that no one was around I was not going to get involved (unless it would have gotten violent) and let them figure it out. ]

Left: Playing in the library Middle: the toy in question. What is this called!? She LOVES it! Side note: cant believe how little she cared about the tower of magnetiles I built Right: more playing with the anonymous toy!

We ended the evening rather comfortable with some awesome dinner that N prepared. Yes that’s right, PREPARED! She truly is the best. Whenever she leaves me (or in this case me and G) she literally slaves away in the kitchen to make sure that we have a bunch of different meals ready to eat for the different days. I mean how awesome is that!? Me and G are literally staring into the fridge and feel like we are in a restaurant. The only thing missing is a printed menu.

Main: Pasta, Chicken, Steak
Sides: Broccoli, Cauliflower, Rice, Carrot muffins
Soup: Chicken soup

What to choose? So many possible combinations? To keep it brief, those are the type of problems I am more then happy to have =)

We ended up choosing a rice bowl topped of with chicken and cauliflower (YUM). As you will see a fork is good enough for me but Miss G will need to have a fork in one and a spoon in the other hand. Whenever she sees me eating the rice and I glance over at her I can’t stop thinking that she must be thinking to herself ‘Oh g-d, why does this guy not know that rice is so much easier eaten with a spoon..!’ I guess she has a valid point..

Left: In the act of eating her chicken Right: Preparing for the next big bite!

After that I let her watch some music on Youtube so I could prepare her bedroom, get her diaper changed and put her pajamas on.. I wanted to change a few things in her bedroom around hoping that they might make her sleep longer.

If that worked and what it is that definitely went wrong? Find out in the next part of the Mini Series (if I am still alive..)